SPECIAL CREDIT TO HER WHO HELPED ME WRITE THIS :)
The firey eyes that I loved so
The stain of love across my hands.
Afraid of where the love might go.
He whispered things as if to show
He held the ability to let the world know
The firey eyes that I loved so.
We walked hand in hand across the snow,
My heart beat hard against my chest
Afraid of where the love might go.
Our only company was a doe.
As she raced through the snow, her eyes could mimick
The firey eyes that I loved so.
I leaned to kiss his lips so slow.
But at the time little could he see
Afraid of where the love might go.
The long cold blade slips easily from it hiding place.
Thrust through layers of heavy cloth into flesh, through bone.
The firey eyes that I loved so,
afraid of where the love migt go.
This is an awesome idea and I love the story but it doesn't flow well at all and is very confusing. Please give suggestions as to how this could be improved.
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