If only...

The gun gleamed in the pale moonlight. Madison could feel his knees knocking together. Why would she do this? Sweat appeared on his forehead and clung to his soft, dark hair. He wanted to scream. But, like with every other emotion, he held it inside, where it bubbled and seethed. He had never been one to express his feelings.
Maybe that’s why Katherine was after him. But that wasn’t enough reason for murder. They had broken up over 6 months ago. Since then, they hadn’t conversed or really even acknowledged each other. So why this? And why now? Katherine had broken up with him. This couldn’t be his fault.
He still loved her, he realized. He always had and he always would. She had been his first love; his true love. When she had left him, he should have stopped her. He should have taken her in his arms and kissed her and told her he loved her. That’s what he should have done. But instead he had let her walk away. And now she held a gun to his chest.
Finally, Madison forced himself to look her in the eyes. What would he see? Anger? Hatred? No. In her eyes there was only sadness. Sadness tinged by fear. Slowly she lowered the gun from his chest and took a step out of arm’s reach. Madison breathed a sigh of relief. He knew she couldn’t do kill him.
But she was raising the gun again; this time to her own head. It took Madison a minute to realize what her intentions were. No. No she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. Not now. But, as he reached forward to stop her, she pulled the trigger.
The shot echoed through the night and sent a pain, much sharper then that caused by a bullet, into Madison’s heart. Katherine was dead. The only person he had ever really loved was dead. He felt empty.
He knelt beside her and lifted her limp body into his arms. He held her against his chest and for a brief, rare moment, tears fell from his eyes. Even now, she seemed as light as a feather and the familiar sent from her hair made him cry harder. A cold, numbness spread through him; as though he would never feel again.
As he held her close, for the last time, Madison finally said those words which he had truly meant to say all along: “I love you.”